As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine - and those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said, 'In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.'

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, "what the heck?" And I starting jumping up and down along with her.

She said, "I have some really great news!" I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.After they got their tent all set up, both men fell Sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and Says, "Kemosabe, look towards  sky; what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

"May I see the baby?" I asked.

"Not yet," She said "I'll make coffee and we can talk for a while first.

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, "May I see the baby now?"

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his yearly collard green garden, but it was always very hard work for him because the ground was hard. His only son, Junebugg Jankins III, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.